Biggest Challenge

I think my biggest challenge right now is actually a collection of two smaller challenges. One of them is more personal/time management, and the other deals directly with coursework and the digital media program.

Firstly, I have to work full time in order to support myself, but I also have to be a full time digital media student because the program isn't offered part time. At the end of the day I am so exhausted from leading a double life that I rarely go out with friends or leave time to relax and collect myself. I started this crazy schedule in the fall of 2006, so by now it's taken quite a toll on me. Also, due to my work schedule, it's very hard for me to get to campus (especially for group projects) since I schedule my work hours around class and I don't have a lot of other free time. I always seem to make it work, but it's tiring and challenging. Spending nights on campus to render while taking animation classes in Maya was one of the hardest times I've faced. Unfortunately it made me really dislike animation and Maya, even though if it was my full time job I'd be excited to do it each day and learn more. I just didn't have enough hours in the day.

My second big challenge is a lack of confidence in my work. At my job I know exactly what I'm doing, and I do it very well. I like that self assuredness, even though I don't like my job. When it comes to schoolwork and digital media, I always feel that my art skills aren't nearly good enough when compared with other students. I come from a programming background and was a computer science major at NYU, but I didn't want programming alone to be my life. That's why I decided to take a year off from school and transfer to Drexel. I feel pretty confident in my programming ability, but when it comes to artwork I've never been the kind of person to get praise for amazing artwork. I feel that I have to work twice as hard for a product that is half as good as naturally talented students. I hope through practice that I can break through this negativity. When I was very young I remember seeing other children's artwork and thinking it was great, but mine just looked like a mess no matter what I did. I think I gave up art then, instead of continuing to try. I'm willing to keep at it with the hopes that I can gain confidence and practice as I go.